Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
