I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I am naked and annoyed.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
