do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
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