I should be sponsored by Trojan
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
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