The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Randomize
