its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
smell my finger.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Dignity is for republicans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
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