new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
