Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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