no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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