I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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