he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
did you just send me my own nude
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
