Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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