I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize