Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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