We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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