Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
he puts the penis in happiness.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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