nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
