Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Randomize
