hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
