She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
