A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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