Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
