i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
