I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
