erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
