I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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