Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
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