Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
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He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
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Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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