Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
