I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
