He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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