I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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