you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
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