she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
