i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
