I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
