I smell stomach acid.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Randomize
