ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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