I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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