Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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