He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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