If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
