Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
