can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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