i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Randomize
