Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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