I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize