Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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