make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
