This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
