You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
