There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
