New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
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