Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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