pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
