does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I take back everything I said about communal showers
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
