from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
