im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
