okay pat passed out under dana's car
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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