An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
