I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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