there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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