why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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