Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
