Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Randomize
