I heard we made out
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
