I can tuck mytits in my pants
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize