it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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