moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
You pole danced in your parka.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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